He Brought Me to His Banqueting Table
He brought me to His banqueting table,
Via sacrificial invitation
Through the blood that speaks better than Abel’s.
The foundation of my heart was unstable
Ever slipping in spiritual starvation;
He brought me to His banqueting table.
The deepest desires of my soul were labile,
But He stripped my sinful passion
Through the blood that speaks better than Abel’s.
Though I dared to call His love a fable,
Still He embraced this prodigal son;
He brought me to His banqueting table.
I stand secure because He is able,
Ever desiring to cleanse my sin
Through the blood that speaks better than Abel’s
On my forehead, He has placed His label.
He embraces me in holy adoption.
He brought me to His banqueting table
Through the blood that speaks better than Abel’s.
--For those of you wondering what a villanelle is . . .
Villanelle: An intricate French lyric form, the most famous modern example of which is Dylan Thomas' "Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night." The form consists of five three-line stanzas and a sixth stanza of four lines, for a total of 19 lines. Lines 1 and 3 become a refrain, with line 1 repeated in lines 6, 12, and 18 and line 3 in lines 9, 15, and 19. All the tercets rhyme "aba" and the quatrain rhymes "abaa."
Friday, June 29, 2007
Friday, June 1, 2007
What do You do When Everyone is Busy?
In my BC days, I was something of a loner . . . let’s face it; I was staunchly antisocial. The further I divorced myself from God, the further I divorced myself from the company of people. After I bent the knee to Christ, almost immediately, my social life blossomed. It’s a rare day that someone isn’t calling me to do something, or that I’m not initiating the doing, and I love this new life. However, something has gone amiss the past couple of weeks, and I haven’t really understood why. It seemed like my interactions with people were becoming more and more superficial, and I have had to work harder to enjoy others’ company. Last night, I figured out what had changed. For the first time in months, all my friends were busy and I spent the evening alone. The BC Stephen is definitely dead because I couldn’t sit still. I got in my car and just drove, and as I drove, I started to talk to God. As soon as I did, His presence filled my car, and I realized what my problem has been lately.
In my enjoyment of the friends and social life He so graciously gave me, I had stopped spending time with Him. Sure I prayed and read daily, but it wasn’t the intimate time with God that I used to have in the beginning of this relationship. And when you get too caught up in the gifts rather than the Giver, the gifts begin to lose their meaning. For instance, my grandfather left me a painting when he died that has a fairly significant market value (it’s a numbered print of Warner Sallman’s Head of Christ). After my surrender to Christ, I sold all the worldly collectables I had, and what didn't sell, I gave away (literally thousands of dollars worth of stuff, that I just gave away). But, I couldn't sell or give away the painting because it’s not just a painting; it’s a gift from my grandfather. Likewise my friends aren’t just friends, they’re gifts from God, and in that light, they’re invaluable and I wouldn’t give them up for the world. But without the reference of the Giver, I started looking at their values, and my enjoyment of them diminished. As soon as I made time for intimacy with God, I found my joy, and my friends returned to their rightful place in my heart.
None of this is to say that I want to spend less time with them or become antisocial again because that’s my natural tendency, and I don’t think that’s what God wants from me; rather, I know that I have to keep these gifts in perspective to the Giver and not sacrifice my time with Him because I’m tired or in a hurry to go out and have fun.
And to my friends that are reading this, at the risk of sounding corny, I want to say, “I love you guys”, I do value you more than a painting, and I thank God for you daily.
To God Be All the Power and Glory Forever,
Amen
In my enjoyment of the friends and social life He so graciously gave me, I had stopped spending time with Him. Sure I prayed and read daily, but it wasn’t the intimate time with God that I used to have in the beginning of this relationship. And when you get too caught up in the gifts rather than the Giver, the gifts begin to lose their meaning. For instance, my grandfather left me a painting when he died that has a fairly significant market value (it’s a numbered print of Warner Sallman’s Head of Christ). After my surrender to Christ, I sold all the worldly collectables I had, and what didn't sell, I gave away (literally thousands of dollars worth of stuff, that I just gave away). But, I couldn't sell or give away the painting because it’s not just a painting; it’s a gift from my grandfather. Likewise my friends aren’t just friends, they’re gifts from God, and in that light, they’re invaluable and I wouldn’t give them up for the world. But without the reference of the Giver, I started looking at their values, and my enjoyment of them diminished. As soon as I made time for intimacy with God, I found my joy, and my friends returned to their rightful place in my heart.
None of this is to say that I want to spend less time with them or become antisocial again because that’s my natural tendency, and I don’t think that’s what God wants from me; rather, I know that I have to keep these gifts in perspective to the Giver and not sacrifice my time with Him because I’m tired or in a hurry to go out and have fun.
And to my friends that are reading this, at the risk of sounding corny, I want to say, “I love you guys”, I do value you more than a painting, and I thank God for you daily.
To God Be All the Power and Glory Forever,
Amen
Monday, May 21, 2007
What if the Landing Gear Doesn't Drop?
God has done some amazing things in my life, and I've learned alot of lessons about relying on Him for everything, not putting value on Earthly possesions, giving everything to Him, being a steward of His stuff, the list goes on and on. The lesson He taught me this weekend extends far beyond anything I could have imagined having to learn, yet it was by far the easiest.
Brandon and I went to Detroit for a Computers and Writing conference this weekend, which went fairly well. We got to sit in a giant conference room in over-stuffed chairs and talk about all the nonsensical rhetorical theory that supports the technical writing we're building our careers and education around. It was a pretty laid back experience, and the down-time we had in our dorm rooms gave me a lot of opportunity to spend in prayer and devotion. I actually received some direct answers to some questions in my life I had been asking and was feeling pretty peaceful about everything in general.
We had ended up booking a roundtrip flight from Chicago to Detroit in order to save some driving time. After the conference, which ended two hours earlier than we expected, we got a ride back to the airport. We gathered our meager belongings and headed toward the terminal expecting to wait four hours for our flight. We were walking into the airport, and Brandon turns to me and says, "you should ask if we can get on an earlier flight." I responded, "I can ask, but it may cost extra." We arrived at the counter and the ticket guy takes one look at our agenda and says, "do you guys want an earlier flight?" We looked at each other, then back at him, and nodded.
Now, usually when strange coincidences like this start to occur, I get really excited because I've come to recognize the handiwork of God when I see it, but this time, I let my guard down and just thought, "Well, that was convenient." We got on the plane immediately and found that the nice ticket agent had given us the emergency exit seats, which for two 6 foot + guys is amazing because of all the extra leg room, and really the only price you have to pay is helping people exit the plane if you crash. Very convenient, yet again.
We took off, and everything went fine, until we reached Chicago. The captain announced that we were beginning our descent, the stewardesses all rushed to their foldout chairs, and a loud crunching noise issued from the floor below us. Brandon and I looked at each other and both said, "that didn't sound good", and the plane that had been dropping rapidly toward the runway, sped up and rose back into the sky.
The pilot made the following announcement: "Sorry, ladies and gentleman, our panel indicates that one of the landing gear doors didn't lock back into place correctly, so we decided to review the emergency regulations for that situation, and it doesn't look like it should be a problem, so we're just going to circle Chicago, and we'll go ahead and land in about ten minutes."
We heard some more grinding below us and wondered why the pilot was retracting a malfunctioning landing gear back into the plane. We circled Chicago and came back around for another landing attempt. This time the crunching was proceeded by a high pitch whine, and Brandon said, "The landing gear didn't go down at all this time." Sure enough, we rose back into the sky, and the pilot announced an affirmation.
I thought the thing that probably crossed everyone's mind at this point, "we're going to crash". I've watched the news enough to know that landing a plane without the landing gears usually results in great big rolling balls of fire.
The woman sitting behind us leaned forward and asked if we understood how to operate the emergency exits.
We assured her we did.
She laughed nervously and pointed to her two-year old grandson who was sitting peacefully next to her daughter-in-law, a miracle in-and-of-itself. "That's my grandson; he'll need you two to be his heroes."
We smiled and nodded encouragingly.
To make a long story short, the pilots managed to lower the gear automatically, and we landed amidst an armada of emergency vehicles and federal agents. We were towed into the gates, and our fellow passengers broke out into audible rejoicing.
The point of the story isn't God's hand in delivering us safely to the ground--I have no doubt he intended that the whole time--the point of the story is that for the first time in my Christian walk I understood what Fanny Crosby was singing about in 1873 when she wrote, "Blessèd assurance, Jesus is mine! / O what a foretaste of glory divine! / Heir of salvation, purchase of God, / Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood" or what John was writing about in 1 John 5:11-14: "And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may KNOW that you have eternal life" (emphasis mine). In my BC days, I had a few brushes with death, and there was always a knawing fear, but this time as my life hung precariously in the balance of a malfunctioning airplane's questionable landing, I had no fear whatsoever. I knew that no matter what, the situation was in God's hands. If this was the moment He choose to call me home, Hallelujah! If He intended me to live and carry on with the work He's called me to, Hallelujah! If He intended me to crash and burn and live a life maimed, broken, and scarred, Hallelujah! I was so content with whatever outcome He had in mind, that I very nearly dozed off during the crisis.
As I look back on the experience, I can't help but thank God that He gave me the opportunity to build my faith in this way and share it. It really isn't about living in His protection, though that's amazing and important; it's about living in assurance that I'm never out of His will as long as I don't choose to be. If my focus is Him, then everything that happens to me will glorify Him, and that's the only position to be in that will make every event, even death or physical harm, peaceful and joyous.
To God be the praise and the glory forever,
Amen
Brandon and I went to Detroit for a Computers and Writing conference this weekend, which went fairly well. We got to sit in a giant conference room in over-stuffed chairs and talk about all the nonsensical rhetorical theory that supports the technical writing we're building our careers and education around. It was a pretty laid back experience, and the down-time we had in our dorm rooms gave me a lot of opportunity to spend in prayer and devotion. I actually received some direct answers to some questions in my life I had been asking and was feeling pretty peaceful about everything in general.
We had ended up booking a roundtrip flight from Chicago to Detroit in order to save some driving time. After the conference, which ended two hours earlier than we expected, we got a ride back to the airport. We gathered our meager belongings and headed toward the terminal expecting to wait four hours for our flight. We were walking into the airport, and Brandon turns to me and says, "you should ask if we can get on an earlier flight." I responded, "I can ask, but it may cost extra." We arrived at the counter and the ticket guy takes one look at our agenda and says, "do you guys want an earlier flight?" We looked at each other, then back at him, and nodded.
Now, usually when strange coincidences like this start to occur, I get really excited because I've come to recognize the handiwork of God when I see it, but this time, I let my guard down and just thought, "Well, that was convenient." We got on the plane immediately and found that the nice ticket agent had given us the emergency exit seats, which for two 6 foot + guys is amazing because of all the extra leg room, and really the only price you have to pay is helping people exit the plane if you crash. Very convenient, yet again.
We took off, and everything went fine, until we reached Chicago. The captain announced that we were beginning our descent, the stewardesses all rushed to their foldout chairs, and a loud crunching noise issued from the floor below us. Brandon and I looked at each other and both said, "that didn't sound good", and the plane that had been dropping rapidly toward the runway, sped up and rose back into the sky.
The pilot made the following announcement: "Sorry, ladies and gentleman, our panel indicates that one of the landing gear doors didn't lock back into place correctly, so we decided to review the emergency regulations for that situation, and it doesn't look like it should be a problem, so we're just going to circle Chicago, and we'll go ahead and land in about ten minutes."
We heard some more grinding below us and wondered why the pilot was retracting a malfunctioning landing gear back into the plane. We circled Chicago and came back around for another landing attempt. This time the crunching was proceeded by a high pitch whine, and Brandon said, "The landing gear didn't go down at all this time." Sure enough, we rose back into the sky, and the pilot announced an affirmation.
I thought the thing that probably crossed everyone's mind at this point, "we're going to crash". I've watched the news enough to know that landing a plane without the landing gears usually results in great big rolling balls of fire.
The woman sitting behind us leaned forward and asked if we understood how to operate the emergency exits.
We assured her we did.
She laughed nervously and pointed to her two-year old grandson who was sitting peacefully next to her daughter-in-law, a miracle in-and-of-itself. "That's my grandson; he'll need you two to be his heroes."
We smiled and nodded encouragingly.
To make a long story short, the pilots managed to lower the gear automatically, and we landed amidst an armada of emergency vehicles and federal agents. We were towed into the gates, and our fellow passengers broke out into audible rejoicing.
The point of the story isn't God's hand in delivering us safely to the ground--I have no doubt he intended that the whole time--the point of the story is that for the first time in my Christian walk I understood what Fanny Crosby was singing about in 1873 when she wrote, "Blessèd assurance, Jesus is mine! / O what a foretaste of glory divine! / Heir of salvation, purchase of God, / Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood" or what John was writing about in 1 John 5:11-14: "And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may KNOW that you have eternal life" (emphasis mine). In my BC days, I had a few brushes with death, and there was always a knawing fear, but this time as my life hung precariously in the balance of a malfunctioning airplane's questionable landing, I had no fear whatsoever. I knew that no matter what, the situation was in God's hands. If this was the moment He choose to call me home, Hallelujah! If He intended me to live and carry on with the work He's called me to, Hallelujah! If He intended me to crash and burn and live a life maimed, broken, and scarred, Hallelujah! I was so content with whatever outcome He had in mind, that I very nearly dozed off during the crisis.
As I look back on the experience, I can't help but thank God that He gave me the opportunity to build my faith in this way and share it. It really isn't about living in His protection, though that's amazing and important; it's about living in assurance that I'm never out of His will as long as I don't choose to be. If my focus is Him, then everything that happens to me will glorify Him, and that's the only position to be in that will make every event, even death or physical harm, peaceful and joyous.
To God be the praise and the glory forever,
Amen
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