How Many Times Must You Forgive Your Family?

Norman Rockwell - "Thanksgiving"
Public Domain

Once Peter asked “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” (Matthew 18:21) 

I’ve often wondered if Peter was using the word “brother” in the same we do about our brothers and sisters in Christ or not.  I mean they hadn’t really figured out the Gospel at this point, so who knows if they were calling their fellow believers “brother and sister” yet. 

Instead, what if Andrew, Peter’s brother, was standing right there . . .


Continue reading this article at Proverbs and Wisdom.

How Do You Forgive?

Forgiveness plays a big part in our Christian walk.  Jesus says, “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:14-15)  In fact it’s such an integral part of His message for us, He says it in Matthew 6:12, 18:21, 18:35, Mark 11:25, Luke 11:4, 6:37, and John 17:3.  And these don’t even count the implied verses or when the apostles reiterate forgiveness in their epistles. 

So what does forgiveness mean in realistic everyday terms? 

I could go into a long study about the Greek word and how it means to leave behind, let go, give up a debt, which brings to mind the parable of the man who owed ten thousand talents in Matthew 18:24.  But I’m sure you’ve heard it all before.

In fact you’ve probably heard sermons about how you don’t forgive people because they deserve it, but because it will release you from bitterness.  Or maybe you’ve heard sermons about how God says, “vengeance is mine” (Romans 12:19), so just forgive them and God will get them in the end.  And these things are kind of true, but do they really reflect what forgiveness is?  Is forgiveness really all about you?  Is it really all about hoping that other person will get they’re just desserts in the end? Can you really say you've forgiven someone with these motivations behind your forgiveness?

What does real, Biblical forgiveness look like? 

When Jesus was dying on the cross, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do?” (Luke 23:34)  This wasn’t a “release me from bitterness” prayer or a “you get them in the end, God” prayer.  Jesus asked that God would not take vengeance on those who crucified Him.  He asked that God would forgive them.

A short time later in Acts chapter two, Peter preaches to a crowd full of men who had crucified the Lord.  He specifically says to them: “this Jesus whom you crucified.” (Acts 2:36)  And three thousand of these men who Jesus prayed that God would forgive were forgiven. (Acts 2:41)

In Acts 7:60, we can see this same thing happen again when Stephen prays that God won’t hold his murder against his murderers.  In Acts 9, Paul who held the coats at Stephen’s stoning is saved.

When you forgive somebody, pray that God will forgive too. This is Godly forgiveness.  Truly, in the same way you forgive, you will be forgiven.

Degrees of Sin

In terms of God’s justice, it can definitely be said that there are degrees of sin and judgment.  On several occasions Jesus says things like:

And you, Capernaum, will not be exalted to heaven, will you? You will descend to Hades; for if the miracles had occurred in Sodom which occurred in you, it would have remained to this day. Nevertheless I say to you that it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for you. (Matthew 11:23-24)

And He says to Pilate, “You would have no authority over Me, unless it had been given you from above; for this reason he who delivered Me to you has the greater sin." (John 19:11)

John says, “If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask and God will for him give life to those who commit sin not leading to death. There is a sin leading to death; I do not say that he should make request for this. All unrighteousness is sin, and there is a sin not leading to death.” (1 John 5:16-17)

The Catholic Church differentiates sins of greater and lesser degrees in terms of “mortal sins” and “venial sins”. Mortal sins are at their base derivative from the ten commandments, whereas venial sins are derivative from lesser points of the law, both old testament and church traditions.  And most Protestants tend to think along those same lines, though they don’t have a systematic theology built around it.

I think at the heart of it all; we all believe that the punishment should fit the crime: the child rapist and serial killer deserve far worse than the teenager who steals a candy bar at the grocery store, and God certainly agrees; there’s a lot of scripture that backs this position up.

Yet when it comes to the ultimate judgment, things aren’t quite so balanced.  The rapist, killer, and shoplifter are all sentenced to stand side-by-side in hell, along with the guy who lived a good life except he called his brother a “fool” on occasion (Matthew 5:22).  James says, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all.” (James 2:10)

Where’s the disconnect?  I don’t think hell has different levels like Dante Alighieri suggests in his Inferno, but it’s easy to see where he would come to the conclusion.  How can God justly sentence everyone to the same punishment no matter what their sins were? 

I think the answer to that question can be found in mankind’s very first sinner.  Adam ate a piece of fruit and brought death into the world.  Let me say that again.  Adam ate a piece of fruit . . . fruit mind you . . . he ate a piece of fruit and brought death into the world. 

Now you can say, “yes, but it was the disobedience part that was the sin,” and I’ll agree, but every sin great or small is disobedience.  I’m looking at degrees of disobedience, and I can’t think of anything labeled “sin” in the Old or New Testament that is as minor as that first one.  He ate a piece of FRUIT!

Next time you think your little white lie, your little sexual fantasy, your being slightly upset with your brother, your not being charitable to one person in need, or your whatever sin it may be isn’t so bad, remember that first sin in the garden.  It only took one bite of a piece of fruit to sentence billions to hell.  Do you think God isn’t miffed about your “little” sins?

Luckily, God sent His Son to pay the price for our sins—great and small.  If you believe on Him, turn from your ways, and follow Jesus, He will be faithful to forgive you and empower you to be called a child of God.  If you’ve never surrendered your life to Christ, fill out the Contact form, and I’ll get in touch with you about how you can.

Christian Elephants

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. (Romans 19:12)

I think vengeance is an aspect of God's character that we don't think of very much, and when we do, it is often in the wrong context: namely that we think he should avenge someone who has wronged us.

And yet, God is in the business of revenge. There's a story from this year that backs up this truth, in which a herd of wild elephants have been rampaging in cities in India attacking those that have persecuted Christians. You can read more here:

http://www.archdioceseofcolombo.com/news.php?id=851

I was skeptical, so I looked at Indian papers to see if anything was printed about the attacks, and sure enough there were quite a few stories about the elephant attacks. Apparently yesterday, a pack of jackals attacked as well. However, there was no mention of the segregation of only the persecutors of Christians except on Christian sites.

However, there was one really interesting store that seems to collaborate the elephants mission. There was a report of an elderly Christian woman, Sapari Pradhan, who stepped in front of the elephants to stop them from attacking her persecutors. One elephant lifted her from the way, kept her at a distance and the other elephants continued with their mission, which was reported from an eyewitness and is not in the all of the Christian accounts. However, it is reported in an Indian paper, though they do not mention that the woman was a Christian: (http://www.thehindu.com/2009/01/10/stories/2009011056340300.htm)

Crazy! I'm sold.

Praise the God who avenges and protects!