Passages

Brian Hadin is the founder of the Audio Bible, a daily podcast where he reads through the Bible every year.  There are somewhere around 40 million listeners across the globe that tune into his broadcast.

His new book Passages is part chronicle of how he started and who benefitted from his podcast, and part lesson on why reading the Bible is important.

And while I think what he’s doing is a great thing, I don’t agree with his reasoning about why reading the Bible is important.  I really wanted to like this book because I think this is a great ministry, but without a correct view of the Bible and its purpose, I think scripture becomes dangerously misleading.

Why is reading the Bible important? 

Perhaps the most famous scriptures used to emphasize reading the Bible are 2 Timothy 3:16: “All scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training,” 2 Peter 1:20-21: “But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one's own interpretation, for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God,” and 1 Corinthians 2:13 “This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.” 

I want to say first off that I think these scriptures are absolutely true.  The scriptures are inspired by God and completely true.  I’m going to add a big “BUT” here that some people aren’t going to like.   But the scriptures are not God; they’re not even a good substitute for God.

Jesus tells exactly what the purpose of the scriptures are when He says, “You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.” (John 5:39-40)

And this is where Passages falls short.  I don’t think it’s purposely.  I would even say Hardin would completely agree with what I’m saying, but he never says so in the book, and that paints a disastrous picture of the Bible.  For example he says things like “Wouldn’t it be comforting to have just one friend who actually knew what was going on, who would always tell the truth and not be afraid to tell it like it is? . . . We do have such a comrade—the Bible”, “hope is one of the great blessings that the scriptures give us”, and even goes so far as using scripture and Jesus interchangeably in his lesson on the vine and the branches when he says “this is our fate [spiritual death] if we remain disconnected from the lifeblood of Scripture.”

Listen, God is our friend who is always true, and it’s His Holy Spirit that leads us into all Truth.  Sometimes He uses the Bible, sometimes it’s a fellow Christian, sometimes it’s just the Holy Spirit speaking to our heart, and sometimes He splits the sky and speaks in thunder, but it’s always, always God.  God is the one who not only gives us hope; He is our hope.  Jesus is the only vine you have to worry about being separated from.  Some day you may find yourself in a distant country, in prison, never to see a Bible again.  If the Bile is where you think life resides, you’re not going to make it.  Get it?

Understand I’m not undermining scripture’s authority or denying Sola Scriptura here.  Scripture is important in leading us to Christ, helping us to test the spirits and our hearts, rebuking false doctrines, teaching, training and all that, but without the Holy Spirit interpreting, it’s just a book, and a dangerous book at that if anyone but the Holy Spirit is doing the interpreting, which is exactly what Peter is talking about in 2 Peter 1:20.

Ultimately it comes down to this. One day we all will stand face to face with God.  If you’re claim to relationship with Him is that you read the scriptures daily, don’t be surprised when He says, “Then why didn’t you come to Me? I never knew you.”

Obviously Hardin’s book stirred me up a bit.  And I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt in saying I don’t think he intended the book to come across the way it does, but at the same time, coming to Jesus is what the Bible is all about, and I don’t see how anyone can read it in its entirety, year after year, and not get the major theme of the book.

So while there is some great stuff in Passages about community and plans for Bible study, overall I can’t recommend the book.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher for review.  All opinions are my own. 

My Imaginary Jesus

St. Peter walks into a communist vegan restaurant in San Francisco and orders smoked salmon.  The hippie at the counter rolls her eyes and says, “we’re vegan.  No salmon.” Of course St. Peter is incensed and ready to start brawling: “isn’t this the Pacific northwest?  How do you not have salmon?”  And just before he lets fly his fists of fury, he looks over and spots Jesus sitting next to Matt Mikalatos. St. Peter’s brow darkens a little farther, and he strides over to confront them.

Yep that’s the opening scenario of Matt Mikalatos’ My Imaginary Jesus.  It turns out that Matt’s Jesus was an imaginary Jesus, and with the help of St. Peter, a talking donkey, an ex-prostitute, some Mormon missionaries, and an atheist, Matt goes on a quest to confront his imaginary Jesuses (yes there are many), so he can find the real one.

The book was a lot of fun, though I don’t think I’ve been around or cared about church culture enough to get all the jokes.  However the point of the book, namely that a lot of the general ideas about Jesus you hear in Sunday School or are taught in seminaries these days are imaginations and interpretations of a real person, is spot on.

It’s the real Jesus that we should be seeking relationship with, not the myths we’ve made up over the years.  He’s alive and speaking, and we can know Him personally.

I highly recommend this book.  It will entertain you certainly, but more importantly it will leave you hungry to know the real Jesus and maybe even help you start rooting out the imaginary Jesuses in your life.

Buy the book for $13.78

I received a copy of this book from the publisher for review.  All opinions are my own.

Does God Know You?

Last week in the Relationship Tuesday series, we talked about the difference between Knowing About God and Knowing God.  This week we’re going to talk about God knowing us.  That is after all part of a relationship right?  Both parties know each other.

When I use the word “know” here, I’m not talking about know as in the omniscient way He knows everything.  I’m talking about a more intimate knowledge, a familiarity or a relational knowledge, if you will.

In Matthew 7:20-23 Jesus says, “"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'

Clearly there are those who think they know Jesus, that do amazing works in His name, I dare say more than most of us have done, but who do not have a relationship with Him.  They think they know Him, but when they claim to know Him on Judgment day, He doesn’t recognize them as His own.

It’s like knowing about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  You can read all the tabloids, see all their movies, join their fan clubs, follow them on Twitter, even get your hair cut to look just like them, but if you were to show up on their doorstep claiming to know them, you’d be promptly dragged away by their body guards, turned over to the police and imprisoned for harassment.

And I don’t choose my analogy lightly.  These Hollywood icons are in many ways defining what relationships should look like whether that’s civil, friendship, marriage, or even family, and a lot of those ideas are superimposed on our relationship with God. 

Now, scripture does use a lot of earthly metaphors to describe our relationship with God such as Father, brother, bridegroom, friend, king, etc., but too often our ideas about these metaphors are informed by the imperfect rather than by the perfect—God Himself.  Our relationship with God as Father for instance is different than our relationship with our earthly father, and it’s far different than the fatherly relationships portrayed in movies.

All that to say, we ought not treat God as we would treat any old relationship, and we certainly ought not imagine that our knowledge about Him and scripture, our good deeds done in His name, or even seeing miracles happen in His name are the same as knowing Him or even more crazy that these things mean He ought to know us.

But how do we know that God knows us?  Jesus says He doesn’t know those who practice lawlessness.  What’s lawlessness?  Jesus also says that all the law and the prophets rest on two commandments: Love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-40).  If you love God with everything and love others, you’re not lawless.

Paul spells it out in very simple terms: “If anyone loves God, then he is known by Him” (1 Corinthians 8:3). 

Our quest isn’t to learn about God, so we gain a lot of knowledge: head or heart knowledge for those who speak Christianese.  Our quest is to love God with everything we’ve got regardless if we understand Him or His ways because we’ll never really understand the infinite, unfathomable God, but we can know Him, and if we love Him, we can be known by Him.


Next Week: The Fear of the Lord

Not John Piper

My wife and I used to do devotions on a daily basis, and while we still talk about God a lot, pretty much all day, we haven’t had the discipline of a daily devotion together for awhile now.

While searching for a devotional to do together, I came across Mornings With Jesus. Guideposts was gracious enough to send me a copy through Litfuse, and I just finished going through it to see if it would be a good fit for us.

My overall review is that it’s a pretty good devotional.  It’s not deep theologically, but it is deep relationally in terms of our relationship with Christ, which is eternally more important.  Jesus is perfect theology, so if you want to know great theology, you have to know Him right? 

It’s also written by and geared toward women more then men, but I think it will do just fine for a devotional for a couple as well.  Part of being the spiritual leader of a household, fellas, is having some empathy for our wives. 

I remember the first time my wife asked if we could read a Christian book together at bed time, meaning I would read out loud to her, I said “sure, I’ve got just the thing.”  I pulled John Piper’s The Pleasures of God off the shelf and started reading. She was asleep in seconds, but I kept prodding her and saying, “Ooo this part’s really good!”  She finally said, “I don’t want a theological treatise before bed.  Can we read something lighter?”

Since then, we’ve gone through a few books together, and we’ll probably go through Mornings with Jesus as our devotional.

See what other bloggers are saying at Litfuse.

Buy the book for $11.28

From the Publisher:

"Be still and know that I am God” is one of the most beautiful verses from the Bible, but it’s not easy to practice in this busy world. Mornings with Jesus will help you do just that, be still in Jesus’ beautiful and powerful presence. For those who are seeking a deeper experience in their relationship with Christ, Mornings with Jesus offers a fresh perspective of who Jesus is (the Healer, the Son of God, the Comforter, the Good Shepherd) and what that means for day-to-day life.

With a warm and friendly voice, 365 short devotional writings on the character and teachings of Jesus encourage readers to greet each day by drawing near to Him and inviting His presence into their day. Spend time with Jesus at the beginning of each day and experience His nearness and peace in a new way throughout the year. Each day’s selection includes: a Bible verse; an entry based on Jesus: His words, miracles, and parables; His wisdom, compassion, and comfort; His mystery, power, divinity, and humanity; and a faith step that will inspire and challenge readers to apply the day’s message to their lives.

The Beauty of a Broken Heart

When we hear the words “broken heart,” we often think of a relationship that’s been broken, and it’s usually in reference to the person who’s been wronged in the relationship.  For example if a husband cheats on his wife, it’s the wife’s heart that is broken, not the other way around.  But what if the offender’s heart broke instead?

When David sinned with Bathsheba, he penned one of the most heart-wrenching Psalms in the Bible. 

Psalm 51 is a desperate cry for forgiveness, not to Bathsheba’s father Eliam, who was one of David’s mighty men who spent years living in a cave; nor to Uriah the Hittite’s family, another might man who lived with David for years and had been given a house near the castle; nor to the other mighty men, David’s friends who were surely shocked to learn David had their mutual friend Uriah killed; but David desperately pleaded for forgiveness from God.

Read the rest of the article in today's Proverbs and Wisdom.

Knowing About God Vs. Knowing God

Welcome to Week 2 of Relationship Tuesdays, where we’re looking at how God defines the relationship we have with Him. 

When I started my Christian walk, the first book of the Bible I read was Job.  What a place to start right?  But let’s look at his story in the context of knowing about God vs. knowing God.

When praising Job before Satan, God says this about Job, “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil."

Job is the most righteous man alive at the time; there is no one like him on the Earth.  I think most of us know the story from this point forward.  Satan says that if God lowered His protection of Job, Job would curse God and die.  God basically says, “take your best shot, but don’t kill him.”  And for the rest of the book we read about Job’s unparalleled misery.  We don’t know how long Job suffered, but we know his friends came and stayed with him for a week before they even talked, which must have been uncomfortable, especially since they broke the silence with all kinds of accusations about how Job must have sinned. 

And through it all, Job remains faithful though he does question God a lot.  And at the end God shows up and speaks to Job.  You’d think it would be words of comfort or encouragement, but God basically says, “Who are you to question me?  I’m God.” 

Job’s response is what really struck me as a new Christian, and even now it reminds me what this Christian walk is all about:

“I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?' "Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know." 'Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.'

I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You; Therefore I retract, And I repent in dust and ashes."

Job, the most righteous man on earth, says, “until now I have only heard of You.  I’ve only known about You.”  And if you read the things Job says about God, his knowledge is on par with any seminarian or pastor you’ll ever meet.  “But now I’ve seen you, and I take it all back.  I was talking about things I didn’t understand, and I repent in dust in ashes.” 

Before I found Jesus, I had taught a class on the Bible as literature, wrote a thesis on St. Augustine and some of the early church fathers, and read the Bible cover to cover several times.  I used to debate with Christians all the time and much like Satan in the wilderness with Jesus, I’d use scripture against them.  But when I met Christ, I realized I didn’t know anything, and even now in the presence of His holiness, I’m an ignorant fool. 

There is no knowledge you’ll ever accumulate on earth that will compare to seeing God.

In 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 Paul says, “Now concerning things sacrificed to idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies. If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know; but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him.”

Next Week: Does God Know You?

Known

On Sunday nights, I’ve been teaching a discipleship class called Known.  It’s all about a what a personal relationship with Jesus looks like.  In this post, I’ll present the basic premise of the class, and in subsequent posts, we’ll start digging deeper into scripture about what this relationship is all about. 

My goal is to post something from the class every Tuesday, so I guess since we have Matthew Mondays, we’ll call this Relationship Tuesdays:

So what’s the class all about?

Many Christians come to faith in Christ Jesus through an invitation because of a friend’s testimony, a child’s Sunday School lesson, or maybe a pastor’s sermon, and it most likely included some variation of the phrase “have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ” or “personal savior”.  If like me your surrender to Christ was somewhat different, I’m sure you’ve at least heard these phrases and maybe have even used them when telling others about your faith.

But what does it mean to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?

A personal relationship with Jesus has two main principles: knowing about God is not the same as knowing God; relationship is a two-way road--in other words it’s not just enough to know Jesus, we must be known by Him—and finally God doesn’t just offer us the opportunity to be in relationship with us, He is zealous for a relationship with us.  He has made all the overtures, and our decision is to accept Him or spurn Him.

God also sets up the guidelines of what the relationship will look like.  He defines what it takes to be in relationship with Him, He defines what’s necessary on our part to maintain the relationship, and He offers not only to teach us what it takes but also offers us grace when we fall short and power to do what He’d like us to do.

Over the next few weeks will be looking at how God defines the relationship He wants with us, what it takes to know Him, and what it takes to be known by Him.

Next Week: Knowing God vs. Knowing About God

Knowledge Puffs Up

In the information age, knowledge is expanding at exponential rates.  My phone has 1000 times the computing power than my childhood computer did.  We can travel the world by plane in hours, but we can travel the world virtually in seconds.  Language barriers are quickly becoming a thing of the past, and science and technology seem to have no limits in their capabilities. 

In step with this explosion of knowledge is an explosion of pride . . . Read more in today's Proverbs and Wisdom article: Knowledge Puffs Up.

Love Is a Who, Not a What

Any discussion of love must begin with the understanding that love is not an emotion, nor is it an action, it is in fact a Who.  1 John 4:8 says, “God is love”. 

If you want a picture of what love looks like, look at God; if you want an example of what love acts like, follow God’s actions; and if you want insight in what love desires, seek the will of God . . . 

Read the rest in this week's Proverbs and Wisdom article.


Featured Non-Profit:

This December with every post till Christmas, I'm featuring a non-profit worthy of support.  You can see a complete list here.

Today's Non-Profit is Compassion International.

Compassion International exists as a Christian child advocacy ministry that releases children from spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty and enables them to become responsible, fulfilled Christian adults.

Founded by the Rev. Everett Swanson in 1952, Compassion began providing Korean War orphans with food, shelter, education and health care, as well as Christian training.

Today, Compassion helps more than 1.2 million children in 26 countries.  You can sponsor a child for $38 a month and change their eternity forever.

Here's a video with more information:

Discipline or Desperation?

I recently listened to an interview with Paul Miller called the Doctrine of Prayer.  His position on prayer is that prayer should increasingly come from a point of desperation rather than discipline.

He clarifies what he means by desperation: “it is an increasing acknowledgement that we cannot do this life alone.”  But he doesn’t really say what he means by discipline.  I assume he’s talking about some denominational practices of using prayer books and rhythmic prayer.

I can’t disagree with the need to pray in our moments of desperation, but I don’t think God intended us to be in desperation so that we would pray.  When you read about some of the most powerful examples of prayerful people in the Bible, they didn’t always pray in desperation.  There were four other reasons for prayer that I can think of right off the top of my head:  praise, friendship, discipline, and kinship. 

Here’s some scriptural evidence for these reasons for prayer:

David prayed in praise:  “I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” (Psalm 34:1)

Moses prayed in friendship: “Thus the LORD used to speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend.” (Exodus 33:11)

Daniel prayed with discipline: “Now when Daniel knew that the document was signed, he entered his house (now in his roof chamber he had windows open toward Jerusalem); and he continued kneeling on his knees three times a day, praying and giving thanks before his God, as he had been doing previously.” (Daniel 6:10)

Jesus prayed in kinship: “Jesus spoke these things; and lifting up His eyes to heaven, He said, ‘Father . . .’” (John 17:1)

God refers to Himself in a lot of earthly paradigms so that we can understand our relationship with Him: Lord, Friend, Father, Bridegroom.  Think of these relationships with people in your life.  Do you only talk to your boss, your friends, your family, or your spouse when you’re in trouble?  Do you set aside time for them?  Do you have topics that you like to talk about with them?  Do your conversations tend to repeat themselves?  These are signs of comfortable relationship.

Another paradigm God reveals Himself in is savior, and when we’re desperate, He should be the only one we turn to, but talking to Him includes so much more than salvation, just as it does with anyone that we have relationship with. 

Prayer is as much about listening as it is about speaking. Prayer entails conversing with God about every topic.  Prayer includes involving God in the rhythms of your life at every level.   

Pray without ceasing.  (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

The Name of Jesus

A few years ago, I had a long conversation with a friend who had fallen into a strange brand of “ministry” that was heavily focused on deliverance or as it’s more commonly known, exorcism.  The conversation had many treks and bunny trails, but through it all, God was speaking very clearly to me.  He would say, “this is what he’ll ask tomorrow, and this is the answer you will give him”, and then the man would ask the exact question, and I would have an answer. 

It was a sad experience because this “ministry” was having people invite demons into themselves and then supposedly exercising them, but everyone involved in it experienced a lot of problems afterward, and this friend and others refused to listen to the warnings God was giving them, not just through me but many others.

One of the questions that kept coming up was how could someone cast out a demon in the name of Jesus and not be a follower of Christ?  Or how can someone heal the sick in Jesus’ name and not be a follower of Christ?  Or do miracles in His name and not be a follower?

And yet Jesus says that this can and will happen: “Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me you who practice lawlessness.'” (Matthew 7:22-23)

At another point, the disciples come to Jesus and say, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in Your name, and we tried to prevent him because he was not following us."

To which Jesus replies, "Do not hinder him, for there is no one who will perform a miracle in My name, and be able soon afterward to speak evil of Me. For he who is not against us is for us.” (Mark 9:38-40)

But Jesus did not say, “Oh yeah, that’s George.  We go way back.  You’ll get to know him more in eternity.”

So how is that people who are not following Christ, and who Jesus says very bluntly are going to hell, can perform miracles, cast out demons, even prophesy? 

The answer is that they can do it because of the power in the name of Jesus Christ.  Jesus’ in Hebrew is Yeshua or Yahweh Saves.  Every time I say His name, I feel two things: intense love but also a little bit of awe.  I’m calling on the name of Almighty God, the God who created the universe with a word. 

The ones who Jesus will turn away in the end use His name to do amazing works, but refuse to love Him by obeying His commands (John 14:15)—what do you think lawlessness is?

Honestly it makes me a little ill not just when I see people invoking Jesus’ name to work miracles despite hating Him in their actions, but also when I hear people so casually cast around His name at dinner or bedtime prayers; it’s almost like they don’t know the One who they’re asking to bless their food at all. 

Honestly, I’ve been guilty of using His name without giving Him the honor He’s due as well, much to my shame.

Father forgive me, and help me to love Your name and Your Son’s name with reverent obedience.

Why are Christians so Power Hungry?

There are a few different types of power hungry Christians that I’ve met over the years.  There are the Dominion groups, both conservative and charismatic, who want to take over the world for Christ the king, either politically, socially, or spiritually.  There are the signs and wonders groups that want to call down fire from heaven anytime they should so desire.  There are the legalists who like to rule over their followers through condemnation.  And there are the traditionalists and denominationalists that set up hierarchies of power to maintain proper distance between individuals and God.

The thing is all of these groups have taken elements that Jesus taught and built man-made traditions around them.   But the kind of power a Christian should seek can never be found in man-made traditions. 

Jesus once told the disciples, “Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you. Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are recorded in heaven." (Luke 10:19-20)

Jesus also said, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

If you want to know power, seek to know God.  He doesn’t need your help to bring His kingdom to earth, He doesn’t need your help to perform signs and wonders, He doesn’t need your help to convict sinners, and He doesn’t need your help as mediators when dealing with people. 

But when you know Him, when you speak to Him and He speaks back, when you submit to Him and obey His commandments, when you love Him with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might, He will endow you with power from on high to accomplish His will on Earth, which might include all those things mentioned above.

The point is don’t start out thinking you know what’s best when it comes to wielding God’s power.  You are not a superhero out to save the day.  Don’t pray, “God give me the ability to do ‘x, y, or z’.” Rather, seek God’s face because He’s God.  Get to know the One who gives and takes away.  Pray, “God I want to do whatever you want me to do today.  I’m totally submitted to You because I love You.” Serve Him in your weakest moments just as lovingly and confidently as in the moments where it seems like all of heaven is at your beck and call, not because of anything He can do for you, but because of Who He Is:

The I Am, The Beginning and the End, the Creator, the Almighty One, Savior, Deliverer, Provider, Healer, the Jealous One, Merciful and Just, Father, Bridegroom, Brother, Friend . . . Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty who was, and is, and is to come!

When God Shows Up

I learned to read reading the King James Bible. The knowledge of God has been an intrinsical part of my life--all my life; even when I was running from God, I used my biblical knowledge of God's word to deny Him. That said, I think we can all agree that a knowledge of God is not the same as knowing God. We know a lot about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, but we don't really know them personally. However, the issue that has been bothering me since Christmas break is what does knowing God really mean. Sure, we can say it means believing in Jesus Christ, praying, reading the Bible, living a life that reflects God, doing right, etc. and I think these things are important, but do they really demonstrate knowing God, or just a knowledge of God? Is it possible that even these simple Christian truths that we rely so heavily on miss the mark?

So often I've heard the phrase "have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ", and I ask what does that relationship look like? Does God only maintain His side of the relationship with that soft voice we've come to recognize as divine and maybe sometimes through circumstances that look like coincidence, but everyone knows really aren't. I've had a lot of relationships in my lifetime, and they all had much more direct interaction than this. Relationships involve conversations, emotional involvement, physical contact, etc. God's comparison of His people to prostitutes and adulteresses, to Himself as Father, and to us as friends throughout the scriptures shows that He views our relationship with Him in more intimate terms as well.

I think God uses the small voice and the coincidences because we hold back in our part of the relationship and only respond to these things. We're like autistic children; too much stimulus and we start screaming and run away. There have been times in my relationship with God, that He has moved beyond typical interactions, and I've felt His presence physically touching me; I've heard His voice in more audible tones. Every time I've approached this intimate relationship with God, I've pulled back, and yet it is the type of relationship I desire most. It is this simultaneous desire and hesitancy that creates a constant struggle in my life. When I sin, it is usually a direct result of this struggle. I start to get too close to God and pull back and do something to purposely push Him away. Those of you who know my whole testimony are probably thinking this sounds very familiar, you'd be right. However, unlike the last time, I'm taking a stand right here, right now, to press on in this relationship God desires from me, and overcome the desire to run.

In an attempt to better understand exactly what an intimate relationship with God is going to require of me, I plan on using this blog as a place to collect my thoughts and studies, and I hope that what God shows me here will be helpful to others looking for a deeper relationship with the Most High. I am going to begin by looking at different men and women of God in the Bible and elsewhere, their lives, and their relationships with God, and attempt to build a guide for my own life. I realize that an intellectual study of these relationships isn't going to build my own relationship, but I want to know everything I can about the One who I am building this relationship with. When we make new friends, we start by asking questions, "what do you do for a living?", "what do you like to do in your spare time?", "where are you from?", "what do you want to do?", etc. I think our relationship with God must begin with the same search for information, it's impossible to intimately know someone and know nothing about them. I just hope that this knowledge about God gives me some insight about how to interact with Him when He comes near, and more importantly the strength to stand in His presence and not pull away, because I love Him with all my heart, and I know He loves me infinitely more.

Most of all, I want to know Him more.